I felt like I've been slapped at the face. TWICE. How could I let this happen to myself again? Orz.
That feeling when you're added by someone, and then 'unfriend'ed by the same person just because you said something he doesn't like. Okay I guess I can understand that. I will NEVER add or approve this person's friend request again.
That feeling when you're invited by someone, and then blocked. I can't find that exact word to describe this feeling. Depressed? Offended? I don't know. I'll refer this person as C. C is a nice friend and we do talk sometimes but not all the time. So I don't feel like revealing his/her identity as I think C might be reading this.
Sometimes I don't understand the reason behind certain blocks. I do believe in application or game blocks as the non-stop incoming game requests can really spam your notifications annoyingly. That's why I don't send requests to people whom I know they don't play that game. Or even hate that game. To end up being blocked or deleted by someone is just so.. Sad.
So my perspective of this 'block' business is that you don't have to block a person unless this person has offended you in any ways. If you don't want a certain person to see your personal (so called personal but visible those who you allow to see) stuff, you shouldn't add or invite that person in the first place.
I was so happy with last night's pendant that I thought I'd try another kind of bead craft. This time I tried with a bracelet that mum likes very much. I like the colour coz it's casual and I dress casually most of the time. XD The only dissatisfaction is the hook. I'm going to change the hook of the bracelet when I find the suitable one.
This took a longer time than the star pendant. Phew.
We haven't transferred Streamyx to our new house. So dad uses my lappy every night to get online. Usually I get bored because I'm too used to facing lappy almost all the time. But today, I dug out my beads accessories, and I started to make a star pendant!
Although I'm sitting for my last paper today, I just loafed around online last night. Even "Bakemonogatari" (an anime on ghost stories, more like oddities) is left with one episode. I woke up some time around 8am and I've been calculating how much time I have left.
OH WELL. XD
Okok, I know I shouldn't. XD Anyway, I'm cooking my lunch later before going to school. It'll take me at least an hour including the time to eat and wash up.. I have around two to three hours left. @@
I didn't mean to disappear after I came back to Ipoh. I can still recall everything I did pretty clearly. Coz there wasn't much other than preparing a big surprise for him. XP
Yep I was literally busy with the preparation, and after that I carried on with my revision for my semester exams. I'll start things chronologically. I start preparing for this ''surprise'' (shows the XD face) ever since the Deepavali break. I only got busy in Ipoh for his birthday card. I upgraded it to a booklet so it took me a few days, almost a week. Remember I said that I don't have artistic genes as my brothers inherited everything from my mother and left me none? It kinda surprised me that I actually produced something which can relate to the word 'creative'. Well erm, it's colourful! *slapped* I inserted some new ideas like photos and decos. I wanted to take photos of it but I didn't get to. I might upload it if I get to. =D Dear's surprise was literally a surprise that made him jump! I had a plan with his friend with his hometown buddy and he brought along his girlfriend to surprise dear with a birthday cake. I... think I'll save the rest. XDDDD
Early 11.00am this morning, tired and hungry, I FINALLY FINISHED MY MAJOR PAPERS. I have four subjects in all, and there is only one left, which is my PE paper. The worsts are over and now I'm left with this shrimp. Or maybe I shouldn't underestimate it, just in case. XP Everything was quite okay, and with okay I mean it's as hard or challenging or easy or satisfying as expected. For example, I couldn't even finish my paper in time today and I still think it's okay. Coz it's within expectations. So yea I'm talking crap again.
After all the hectic stuff happening recently, I think I need to release stress with a healthy way. I will hold back and try my best to not emo much. I choose to write as I think writing is a good way to neutralize the negative feelings. I just can't wait to go back to Ipoh tomorrow. I have many many plans in my head. =D
I'M GOING TO DEFROZE BLOGGY ONCE I'M BACK IN IPOH.
I had enough.. I really had enough.. I don't want anything anymore.. I won't ask for anything.. I won't hope for anything anymore.. I'm tired.. I'm really tired.. I just want everything to be normal.. I won't ask for more..
I could hardly breathe.. I tried to hold back everything, to put the curve back on my face.. I kept getting the cold shoulder. I don't have anyone to turn to, but to face it. Tauruses are poor at cold war. I can keep on waiting, but only if there is something for me to wait.. I kept waiting, waiting and waiting.. But may I know.. What is at the end of the road.. I'm terrified of the night, I'm afraid of sleeping.. I always make sure I can settle down, to really sleep when I close my eyes.. I've failed to do so for a few nights.. What can I do.. I don't know.. I can't even say I wanna go home.. Going home is just the same, I'll just face another kind of problem.. Why does it seem like I have nowhere to go.. Why can't things be solved through discussion.. We all have problems.. We cannot compare our situations.. Going home makes me feel like I'm stuck in between.. And with everything like that I totally can't do my assignments.. Staying here is just slightly better.. I can always deceive myself, that there's always a rainbow after the hurricane.. That dream.. That nightmare that night.. It came true.. Everything's happening.. I'm suffocating.. I don't know why the hell am I doing this to myself..
I shouldn't have hoped, I shouldn't have expected anything. But what I wanted was very simple. A simple meal turned out into something that ruined everything. My hard work, my plans, my effort, my hope. I have big plans, but nothing seems to be right. No one can change within a day, not to mention a night. So time will be the judge. However when even time is not given, I have no single clue what I can do to make the situation better. I don't know how. Why is it like this.. I had to lie to parents and friends to cover up everything. Everything has to be sealed up. Even crying is a sin.. I wanted to sleep over everything, but then I realised.. I can't even afford to sleep so much anymore.. And even sleeping is a challenge..
I thought no one noticed, yet many did.
I made a fool of myself..
I always miss SOBA's shoulders when I yearn for someone to lean on.. But when I reached our wall, I don't even have the courage to tell them I miss them..
I woke up feeling something heavy pressuring my heart. I feel panicky, yet I know what I was supposed to do after getting myself fresh. I started printing out my first assignment for the semester, and I'm still feeling very uneasy. I reached the classroom feeling hungry, as I didn't get to eat breakfast in time. Suddenly Francis noticed that I printed his matrix number incorrectly. Both him and I know that it's not a big deal, we settled everything with liquid paper. Just, I don't know why this simple incident scarred my mood, and everything started to pour out. All the unhappy and uneasy pieces, everything started to be unearthed. Nobody sensed me feeling unhappy, even him. And I didn't even realize this fact till a classmate asked me what was wrong. I guess only her noticed. That was the only time I knew something IS wrong. I don't feel right at all and I chose to go to the toilet to chill out. Everything became worse when "it" happened..
Sometimes I wonder, are promises meant be to broken?
1. I will NEVER join competitions like Fear Factor. I just can't make myself eat those disgusting insects to get the one million dollars.
2. I will never back stab my friends. Hahahaha but forgive me for funny and harmless gossips. XD
3. I will never stop taking meat for the purpose of losing weight. One reason is that I really really love to eat meat, and the second reason is that I didn't really like vegetables in the first place, so I only take a few kinds now. ><
4. I will never use vulgar to scold the people I love. Dear, family and friends. I use foul words here at bloggy though. Just to let go of the anger and fear. But I don't mean to scold anyone. It's just for letting out.
5. I will never let go of my beloved ones easily. When I know it's worth it, I will not loosen my grasp.
6. I will never throw my pillow away. For the pleasure of imagining and satisfaction. XD
Couldn't continue as I headed to Bukit Mertajam with my family yesterday. Something's wrong with our car again.. But I'm glad mum cheered up a little bit when we had a mini steamboat. =)
1. I want to increase the amount of my savings. I realise that money can be so important when something emergency happens. It's just that sometimes unwanted things will come in the way..
2. I want to read every night before I sleep. This decision didn't just come from nowhere. It has been a habit ever since I was in my secondaries. I read before I sleep. Reading makes me a little bit tired, and I will sleep better too sometimes. I really hope I can do this. =D
3. I want to lose weight, and become slimmer. YESH, I have put on weight, and there are many kinds of clothes I can't wear although I like them very much. =(
4. I want to travel with my family again when possible. I know mum and dad miss travelling a great deal but we don't get to do so.. It doesn't have to be overseas, just a one-day trip to Cameron Highlands would do. =)
5. I want to have a whole day to relax my mind. But I understand I must help as much as I can. So the only time I can really put down my fear, is at night, before I sleep. Somehow putting down the armor is also very frightening, I will suddenly feel helpless. ><
6. I want to try to accomplish my assignments earlier before the deadline. Yes I usually finish them at the day before the deadline, but I always make people unhappy when I didn't finish it earlier. I'm going to work harder on this next semester.
7. I want to see dear, I really hope I can see him soon. Haih. The only thing I can do now is wait though..
I've just realised something.. It's not that I don't have anyone to talk to online.. It's just that I don't have the time and chance to chat online during the day that much.. When I'm at home, anything can pop up suddenly and I have to leave lappy to work.. I cannot afford to sit down in front of lappy all day.. I always work and stay for a while online and work again. Or I might be doing stuff and at the same time play Cityville once in a while.. Just realised this when I was watching 'Secret Garden' while cutting holes for mum's take-way boxes. Miss dear. Haih.
It's raining heavily again.. I really hope that mum's business will be fine.. If not things will get worse if we can't settle things today..
1. Being able to wake up without rushing anything or things to worry about. It is really blissful to wake up with a smile every morning. I like the calm feeling when I open my eyes without worries.
2. Seeing my parents laughing and smiling. I haven't heard them laughing out from their hearts for ages.. They've been under stress for weeks due to many problems.. I do hope everything will be over soon.. I really do..
3. Going out for dates with dear. It is true that hanging out with your loved one will you make smile easily. His companionship can just make me smile from the inside easily. Even if the dates' routine are the same, and we have limited places to go, I'm happy to be with him.
4. Having a person to talk to when I need so. It is just so pathetic to have to keep everything inside when we all know those unhappy stuff have to be spat out.
5. Have a good night's rest. Sleep is one important thing that determines the mood of the day. In my opinion, one will get very tired and frustrated easily without enough rest.
6. Ice desserts. XP Cold sugar make me feel better a lot. It'll be EVEN better if someone is there to share the happiness with me.
7. Sense of accomplishment. It can be anything. For examples, completing an assignment, finish washing my clothes, cleaning and tidying up my room or even being able to make people happy.
8. Good food. As in good quality food. XD I like the sandwiches I make, but I just cannot take them continuously for every meal. Not only that I'd get bored, I might even get sandwich phobia. A decent meal per day is sufficient. XD
9. Good night calls and morning calls from dear. Well yea they really do help. Especially when we can't see each other.. Sometimes when we're unable to chat during the day, these calls are very very important to me. ><
I can see that a lot are related to sleeping. XD I know there are more, but I can't think of anymore for the moment.
Hahahaha erm, this challenge shouldn't be that hard when compared to the last few day's maybe? *starts brainstorming*
1. FACEBOOK! XD It can be said that my Facebook is on for the whole day but I only appear online when I'm able to be there all the time. If I'm busy or away from lappy, I'll appear offline. If I'm sleeping or studying downstairs (I hereby refer to the house in Ipoh), I might just switch it off. XP
2. Blog. Yesh I blog. Especially when I'm bored, sad or angry. I understand that my blog has a lot of negative and unhappy posts of rants. It just happened to be that sometimes I just can't find someone to tell about those unhappy stuff so I thought I might just blog about it and leave everything there. Most of the times I feel better that way. Sorry for the eyesore. ><
3. Play Cityville. Quite similar to the first point, my Cityville is almost open for the whole day too. But I close it sometimes when I'm out of energy. XP
4. Twitter. I will think of a way to tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet and tweet. XP I like to read the tweets of OhTeenQuotes. They're pretty good, just so you know. ;)
5. Filter my emails. I now have 1635 emails in my inbox. I have already filtered and deleted 1000 but look there's so much more. @@ I keep some mails that I find meaningful, that's why I don't delete everything I see. Of course I delete all Facebook mails, or else they'll be spamming my inbox. XP
6. Read books. That is why I keep a few novels in the room. XD I sometimes read before I sleep. It gives me a calm feeling and it will be easier for me to sleep after that. It is not good to strain our eyes before we sleep too. =)
7. Watch movies, dramas or animes. I have so manyyyyyyyyy. But I haven't have time to finish everything hahaha. Well at least that means I will have something to watch when I badly want to. XD
8. Listen to songs. I also have tonnes of songs that I have NOT even listened to hahaha. When I have the mood, I will listen to them one by one and delete those I don't like. Whereas to those I favour a lot, I might even learn how to sing to bust them at K-Box. XD
9. Sleep. Yea when I really don't know to do and I'm really really tired already, why not just hug my pillows tightly and rest my head off? XD
10. And the most definite thing I'd do of all, FIND DEAR. XD
My family and I intended to attend the Food Fair at PISA (Penang International Sports Arena) this year.. But our schedule were delayed.. When we got there, the stalls are closed. =( Dad said we might be able to go there again tomorrow though. I really hope I can go there again. There's this International Chocolate Fair.. And one more thing..
Ahhhh.. This is just the exact opposite of yesterday's post. Think think think think..
1. I filter my words when I talk to him. Our conversation will be pretty much normal, like normal friends. Unless I dislike this person a lot, I will look out for my words and prevent myself from hurting people's feelings. It's kinda like a simple way of showing respect. Of course that doesn't mean I don't respect people I'm close with lah. XP
2. Most probably I won't let him know about my unhappy moments. I mean like, maybe I'll less share my personal problems. Unless he's a good friend, and I trust him enough. =)
3. I don't smile without reasons when I think of him. I will smile even at a photo, a text message, or even when I suddenly think of a moment with that special him.
4. I treat every guy the same way. As I came from an all-female secondary school, I didn't really know how to interact with guys. So when I came to Ipoh, I started to learn how to hang out with guys. If I wasn't into somebody, I would've treated everyone the same way.
5. I would have spent most of my day doing nothing or loafing on the internet. I wouldn't know what to do, or I might even take out my books and start studying. Orz. If I'm into somebody I think I would have a lot of 'homework' to do hahaha.
6. Just books, food, the internet or a simple chat with a friend is enough for me. If that special person exists, I will most probably think of him easily whenever I see something related to him.
7. I will appear online on MSN, Facebook and Twitter all day long. I have this weird habit - Although I seldom really chat with anyone, when I feel lonely, I appear online whole day, just looking at people getting online and offline. ><
8. It would always be very nice to gossip about ANY guy during girl talks. XD On the other hand, if I have someone in mind, I will feel embarrassed to gossip the person I like in front of others. XP
9. Any phone calls or text messages are formal or normal. If they're not urgent, I might even return the calls or messages an hour later.
10. I'll reconsider or hesitate dates or outings. I will make sure I have other female friends with me if so. A bunch of friends hanging out together will be fine and I'll feel secure. XP
I was enjoying myself, chatting with dear super happily last night that I almost forgot about Day Four. XD I remembered it around 12am, then I thought as long as I complete it within today it'll be fine. Mum's worker is back to work so I'm staying at home today. Today's topic is like a reminder of the times I was having a crush on dear. XP
1. Erm, I always look around to see where is he whenever I know he's nearby. XD I kept hoping that I can see him, be somewhere near him..
2. I find chances to let him talk to me. This is because I was erm, kinda shy to find him. So I might as well provide chances? XD
3. I start googling about his interests. Like his favourite singers, songs, activities.. I'll spend time to understand the things he like and I might even start to include them in my own interests.
4. I stress on my appearance a great deal when he's around. I always hope that I can leave a nice impression. This changed though. XD
5. I feel a little bit weird, nervous and a little bit tinglish on the inside when I mention his name. I don't know why but I sometimes even feel shy when I mention his name back then. XD
6. I am afraid of touching him. XD It's weird, like if I touched him accidentally, I might get panic slightly. On the other hand, if I accidentally touched other guys, I'll just apologise naturally. This changed too after we got together. XP
7. When I like someone, I don't feel like deleting his messages. I'll most probably keep them, especially those filled with concern. Hee.
8. I won't answer his calls immediately. I will stare and stare and stare. I don't know what to answer immediately. Obviously nervous. ==
9. Although I like him, I don't feel like amplifying his good points. I even went to dig out his weak points on purpose. I want to understand him, and not like him blindly.
10. I visit his Facebook profile every single day. Just wanted to know how was he doing. ><
11. I blush easily, and I can't stop smiling when I'm near him. I feel happy to be around him. Maybe it's due to his nice sense of humour. But somehow he's good at mingling around girls. -shakes head-
12. Ohya, I will also help him in whatever ways I can, and I'll try to do my very best to help him in any possible way. I don't mind feeling tired, and I even enjoyed myself throughout the whole thing. Hee.
1. If the situation happens to be like I have people sitting beside me, I will first nod and smile. That curve on your lips is an international language. Remember that. And SMILES ARE FREE. =D
2. Usually I will pluck up the courage to say HI. The first step is always the hardest. Once you've opened your mouth, I guess the rest will come naturally. =)
3. Being polite is one important thing. Who would like to talk to a fierce or ill-mannered person?
4. I will try to prompt general questions if I want to start a conversation. Asking something that I'm sure that the other party will be able to answer will make me feel... safe. ==
5. Now, to ask questions that lead the other party to continue talking. Since I'm willing to break the ice, it means I'll have the means to 'warm up' the atmosphere. If I can, I guess I will try to ask questions that can lead the other person to elaborate more on his or her replies.
6. Discuss something that can attract others' attention. People tend to be more active in conversations regarding their interests. One point to remember. XD
7. GAMES. =D
8. GROUPWORK ACTIVITIES. =D =D
9. Other than questionings, I can always start off with a self introduction, to prevent the conversation to stop at the two 'HI's. ><
10. Presents exchange! This was something we did when I attended a party I don't even remember. I was still a kiddo. I guess no one hates presents? XD
11. Offering help can make people feel warm and welcomed on the inside. I will try to help when I can, and also when I have the guts. XP
12. Get a partner as soon as possible. When everyone gets a partner, the place will be filled with chit-chats and when everyone is in the chit-chat mood, I think the ice is broken? XD
13. Ahh.... Why think so hard, just get a hammer and slam it into the ice. Break the ice, literally. Hee.
I woke up at 7.30am today. Mum's worker is sick again so I followed her to the stall. I could barely open my eyes this morning. Due to the flu I got yesterday, my nose was blocked with mucus and I had to breathe through my mouth. And imagine me walking to the toilet like a zombie with her mouth open. XD
I kinda enjoyed working with mum and dad at the stall today. But seeing them in pain hurts me a little bit.. Dad's wrist had turned worse, he tore his tendon accidentally during work. He went to the hospital for a check up and he even went for a physiotherapy session. He said it didn't help much. The doctor said that he must stop straining his wrist but that's impossible coz he's been doing that every single day, when he's selling Yong Tau Hoo. Mum has stopped him from the chopping work at the chicken rice stall, hoping that it'll lighten the burden a little bit..
Meanwhile, something's wrong with mum's legs. Dad said she went to check once and they said that she has rheumatism. Whereas I think the reason is more like the shoes we're wearing. Her shoes' paddings are similar to mine, very thin and uncomfortable, especially when you walk on rocky paths. Standing long on those thin paddings hurt her knees.. However, stubborn her refused to go to the doctor again. And we all know what's the reason.. So there's nothing much I can do..
I do hope things will turn better for them.. My heart aches to see them in pain like this..
After two weeks' hard work, I have finally earned my first 1.75 million in Cityville hahahaha! Of course I have already earned more than that ever since I played this game, it's just that I need these much to buy a parkside villa. It's not that important, just mentioning it here for fun. XP I'm still in the mood to continue the blog challenge! Hope it stays. XP
DAY TWO - 14 NOT SO BASIC FACTS ABOUT ME
1. I love to hug pillows. =D Yes I really really do! I prefer cotton-filled pillows to the cheap ones at Giant hypermarkets. I even have a pillow that has been by my side ever since I'm a baby. XD And it has a name hahaha! I can actually hug my pillow for the whole day literally. I only leave my pillow aside when I go to the toilet, take meals and leave the house. Or else you will most probably see me walking around the house with my pillow. =P
2. Somehow I can go to the toilet for not more than twice a day. Somehow. It's bad for my body I know. I don't know, the go-to-toilet business just doesn't cross my head so I won't unless I really really need to. Don't worry I settle my needs before or after my bathe.
3. THREE DON'TS WHEN YOU WAKE ME UP -- Do not pinch or hit or shake me or whatever physical acts that annoys me from my beauty sleep, do not shout or nag at me the minute you wake me up, AND do not switch off the fan or air conditioner when you wake me up. I will feel very very very frustrated when I can't breathe properly. Hee.
4. I have a sensitive nose. I think so. I sneeze easily and I tend to smell my food before I put them into my mouth. (Ewwwww, some might say.) Well most of the times I do.
5. I like to match my earrings with whatever clothes I'm wearing. I can even change my pair of earrings every single day just to match them with the blouse I wear that day. XD Earrings make me feel complete? XD
6. I feel insecure without my watch and handphones. Ever since I started using lappy, I try not to wear watches while typing on the keyboard. I was worried that I might have scratched it accidentally. However if I leave the house without wearing my watch, I will definitely feel uneasy coz I tend to look at the time almost every five to ten minutes. My two handphones are definitely super duper important that I just can't simply leave them too far. XP
7. I think I have good sixth sense. Actually everybody has sixth sense, it's just that many can't identify it. For example, during the exams, answering the objective questions, the answer that FIRST crossed your mind is MOST PROBABLY the correct answer. Your sixth sense is never wrong. It's just that when THAT particular feeling is influenced by your own opinions, sometimes you won't even notice its existence. Sixth sense can be trained. XD My mum is one pro at that. ==
8. I have bad gambling luck. I seldom win during gambling. Unless I don't play with money. No further explanations available hahaha.
9. I find it very hard to put down the past. Happy or unhappy, everything stays in my head for quite a while before it fades away. Events or people that hurt me will stay even longer. I tried to put things down but I still find it hard. ><
10. My hand-leg coordination is pretty poor. It will take me quite a while to learn how to get things right. I don't think I can dance well hahaha. I would like to try though. I remember when I first began to attend Taekwondo training classes, I can really get my legs right. I always land the wrong foot on the floor. XD
11. I'm good at differentiating LEFT and RIGHT, but not 左右 and KIRI KANAN. Especially 左右 !! Whenever anyone asks me to 去左边 or 看右边, I'll freeze immediately and stare into space -- 左边在哪里? XP
12. I like routines, I dislike sudden changes. Unless the changes are superb ones or it doesn't make my life go haywire. XD I guess I can say that I'm someone very slow in thinking, I'm blur. @@ So I can't get used to things easily, and neither can I adapt to a new environment quick enough. I will panic and freak out. ><
13. I can type without looking at the keyboard. =D I'm super duper proud of this. XD The funny thing is I type faster without looking at the keyboard. I'll need some time to get used to the keyboard if I look at the keyboard and type at the same time. XP
14. Last but not least, I can't really see in the dark. >< And when I can't see stuff, I get frightened and sometimes I won't even dare to budge an inch. Hee. People say that short-sightedness can cause poor night vision. I guess that's the reason? Oh erm, I'm afraid of the dark too. XD
Hmmm.. They don't seem very different from Day One's challenge?
WAHHHHHH. It's not even twelve midnight and I'm beginning to yawn already? No no no no this can't be hahaha. I've finally finished watching 《洪武三十二》 and I'm pleased with the Hong Kong drama series. I enjoyed myself throughout the episodes. ;)
I'm now watching a Korean drama called 'Secret Garden'. I heard compliments from friends about this series and whenever I mentioned the name a few of them will go 好看～～. So yea I'm watching it now. XP I'm saving up 'Running Man' to watch later when I'm really bored with nothing to do in Ipoh, and also when I'm out of dramas to watch. :)
Since I have nothing much to do now.. Actually I do, I can continue reading 《已亮的天空》 or start reading 'Bag of Bones' but I just don't feel like doing so coz I still wanna continue playing Cityville while waiting for dear.. I miss him.. Miss him very much.. He has been busy for a few days with a camp organised by his ex-schoolmates. He will finally be back tomorrowwwww. Can't wait for it. XD
So.. I guess I can finally start off with Day One. *shrugs*
DAY ONE - 15 BASIC FACTS ABOUT ME
1. I come from a family which consists of dad, mum, and two younger brothers. The elder one, is making me very very worried. He's currently studying in KL, but what I can see is that he's pretty much enjoying himself, more than carrying out his promise.. He promised to work hard for his future but I don't know what is in his big head now, and none of us has a single clue of how is he doing there.. The younger one, is growing more and more fleshy. He's been eating and sleeping, but luckily he's being obedient when I'm not around at home.. Mum and dad are hawkers. They have suffered for years with all the hateful burden. I really hope everything can be over one day.. I really hope so..
2. I am 20 years old (OH SHIT I'M TWENTY?!) and I'm currently studying at a teacher's training college in Ipoh. I have completed my foundation for one and a half years majoring Math and minoring English as well as Chinese. The worst thing is that they switched my beloved English to PE and I now have to study Math in Malay. Yayyyy. Damn. Fine, thinking on the bright side, I will be able to teach Math in English, Chinese and Malay. I'm so gonna bear with it. *sigh*
3. I play Cityville. Oh man this fact sucks so much hahahaha. Well I can't think of anything for the moment so I thought I might just start off with something I've been doing lately. XP Yea I play Cityville on Facebook, every single day. However I don't think I can use the word 'addicted', because I can stop playing whenever I like. It's not like I'm gonna die if I ever stop playing it. But hey, I had fun creating my own city, making my own money.. If only I can turn those into real cash. XD
4. My hobbies are spending time on the Internet, reading, blogging, and listening to songs. I have other interests but they no longer stay in my daily routine anymore. These include Taekwondo, chess, ping pong, basketball, badminton.. I still like them, but I just don't practise them that frequent anymore.. I feel bad when I remind myself about this. ><
5. I can speak in Malay, English and Chinese. I do not include Hokkien and Cantonese because I suck at them. =P Yes I understand the two languages, and Hakka too, but the words just cannot come out from my mouth, and my tongue just gets tied up. Imagine an alien speaking. XD Nevertheless, I plan to improve my Cantonese. The reason.. I'll keep it to myself. =P =P
6. I cannot take very very spicy food. But there are some exceptions. I can take nasi lemak, but I just can't take curry, cili padi and chilli sauce. I mean like, the taste is different?? ><
7. I LOVE ICE CREAM. XD However I can't take too much at a time. I feel happy most of the times after having ice creams. I don't know.. Probably sweet and cold stuff and cheer me up more? XP Haagen Dazs is my favourite, I like it more than I like Baskin Robbins hahaha. Haagen Dazs' is smooth and soft, while Baskin's kinda powdery sometimes. MCDONALD'S VANILLA IS GOOD TOO. *thumbs up*
8. I have a liking to dairy products. For example, milk, mayonnaise, yogurt drinks, cheese, butter, etc. Sheesh all the fattening stuff. Love is blind -- I just don't know why I like them! XD
9. I have long black hair, and I care about it. I finally had the chance to keep long hair after graduating from penghwa but then I never knew taking care of it is THAT hard. I have to trim it every now and then or else I'll look very very very messy. I walk under the sun to class everyday and finally my hair ends began to split. That was when I started to use Ellips, a kind of hair vitamin, to protect my hair. I don't know if it works that much but at least I'm trying I guess.
10. I have two piercings, each on both ear lobes. I had them eversince I was six and I'm glad I did at that age. I saw many friends complaining about the pain they have when they pierced their ears at the age of fifteen. Some with sensitive skin even ended up with bleeding and wounded piercings. *goosebumps* Actually I like to see friends with 2 piercings on an ear, and 1 on the other. I think it's pretty nice. =) But I just don't get them because I feel lazy to take care of the new piercing hahaha. I have sensitive skin, 2 piercings are enough. XP
11. My dress codes are basically blue, black and white. Probably some red and gray. XP I don't know whether it's due to my skin colour or what. I admit I tend to go after black clothings coz I find it easier to match other clothes. And erm, I look kinda plump in colours like, pink, bright blue, white.. Bright colours I guess. ><
12. I kinda favour high heels in a way. I tend to look more at high heels whenever I walk by shoe outlets. I mean like, I'm not that interested in flat ones. Coz I find them weird on my long feet sometimes, just sometimes. One funny fact, I feel a little bit more confident when I'm on high heels. Hee. >< I feel taller, and erm, I feel thinner. >< >< >< Embarrasing arghhh. ><
13. I don't know how to put on make up. >< YESH I DON'T KNOW. >< I can't even put blush on my face properly. Lipstick is even worse. So the best I can manage is lip gloss. I use lip balms though! *smacked*
14. I seldom read newspapers. >< I wonder if anyone ever notices this, but yea I seldom read newspapers. >< I understand that this makes me fall behind and I get outdated easily. I tried to read news online but when I get occupied with other stuff, I'll forget all about it again. So I normally follow news people mention a lot, and I listen to the TV news. Bad, I know. ><
15. Erm erm erm erm.. I am unavailable. XD
WHOA THIS TOOK ME SO LONGGGGGG. It reminds of the one I did on the "25 Random Stuff About Meh" two years back. I killed so many of my brain cells my goodness. @@ Some of the above facts might even be classified as not-so-basic facts but I just wrote down whatever that I could think of. ><
Our neighbour, Mrs Fun gives us a packet of shortbread fingers when her pilot son comes back from work sometimes. They taste like butter breadstick fingers, but not that sweet. Although we keep them in the refrigerator, they're still that crispy. =D
I really really ADORE this! But mum says it can't get bought from anywhere in Malaysia. :(
I've been hesitating for quite a while, whether to start taking the blog challenges or not. The reason I haven't started for so long is because I know it requires commitment to a certain extend and I know I neglect my blog sometimes. (SORRYYYY!) I spent an hour searching for blog challenges. Actually I was just giving myself excuses. XD I was still considering throughout the search. XD XD Including a few from Vivian's blog, I now have 22 challenges on the list, I think. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to complete them all, so I'll just keep them and pick the preferred ones to try out. XP
Another boring boring day.. And pathetically I have to save it up for my revision as I'm sitting for my first paper for the semester on Thursday. I don't know what to say anymore.. I came here just to find someone to talk to.. More like a way to let out.. Blogging is something very contradicting, for me. I write as though I have a friend who listens who reads, though I'm not sure who are they.. Sometimes I imagine myself having a reader I totally don't know in real life.. Sheesh why does this sound like an imaginary friend. == However, blogging is public, it's like I'm letting the whole world read my blog, my secrets. So this is where the main point comes in, I have to filter my secrets. I only write 90% of them here.. Because there are things I'm not even allowed to think about, nor tell about..
I miss SOBA gatherings.. I miss chats with people who are really willing to accompany me sincerely.. I don't like to be ignored.. Fish I sound like an attention seeker now.. I don't know what I'm saying.. Obviously this post is another rambling rant. ==
Finally I finished watching the korean drama series, 成均馆绯闻. I like the storyline very much. =) Too bad I'm not in a good mood to blog about this series.. I'm currently following a Hong Kong drama series, 女拳.. Not bad, and I'm currently at the fourth episode. =)
These two days seem very long.. My progress is still slow.. I've washed my clothes. They're "up-to-date". == I've also finished doing whatever I can do for my portfolios. I kinda bored of the quiet hours.. I was so bored, so bored till I think about food all day. Stupid. ==
My phone has broken down.. I wanna know what happened to it.. Although the phone I'm using now is a lot more faster than the broken one.. I can neither watch the videos or see the photos in there coz the sizes of the memory cards are different..
Imagine if I stayed at home.. Things will be even worse than now.. I won't even touch my books..
I intended to let myself relax. And hence I put the whole drama to full screen. I thought I'd be able to enjoy it, or at least get my mind off the bore. Suddenly I realize, that I haven't been alone for quite a long while. Erm, more like I have nobody to talk to for hours.. For the past few hours I kept pushing myself to find something to do.. And yea I did. But now what I have to do left is to wash my clothes and study. Washing my clothes is a no-no now as I totally don't feel like sweating in the middle of the night.. I tried to study but I just can't get the words into my head.. I decided to let myself loaf for a night.. And start working harder tomorrow.. I just hope that I can get over tonight quickly.. I'm getting sick of this kind of quietness.. I miss life with sooyin at the hostel.. How I wish peizhen is here..
Ah.. At least I've finished printing my portfolio stuff and I have only a few left to arrange.. I didn't have a good nap.. I slept with a very uneasy heartbeat rate.. I was awoken by the super duper great thunder RIGHT OUTSIDE my room window.. And then I just couldn't get back to sleep with that goddamn renovation knocks right beside my house..
I don't feel like playing games because something has gone wrong with my mouse.. My CityVille progress is slow and this is good in a way to push to towards my books.. I'm now merely loafing online while watching 成均馆绯闻.. I'm still bored.. Very very bored.. ><
Although I hate being alone.. Sometimes there's just no one that can really accompany me at the exact moment when I needed them.. Even my parents have their own problems and they didn't have to patience to listen to me tonight.. I'd rather stay quiet although I really hate this feeling.. Sorry for being emo.. I just need to find a way to distress for a moment..
Firstly, marry someone similar to you, if a bit smarter. Well apparently that's one of the ways. XP A Seattle Longitudinal Study looked at 169 couples in 7-year intervals between 1956 and 1984 and found that the most stable relationships were those in which people were similar in intelligence, flexibility of attitudes, social responsibility, and education levels. Researchers also found out that after 14 years together, spouses with the better grasp of verbal meanings and word fluency had pulled the lower-functioning spouses up to their level.
I kinda agree. :) Actually dear mentioned something similar before too. Try to think of it this way, you and your spouse must somehow be similar, in terms of intelligence too I think. At least the two of you will have the same discussion topics and you'll be able to understand each other's thoughts more easily? :) One more thing, I always hope I can help dear out whenever he faces any problems.. I'll somehow feel terrible when I can't. ><
Next, hold hands whenever possible. XD In addition to creating feelings of warmth and closeness, holding hands can help inoculate you from stress. One study using brain scans found out that when married women were told they were about to receive an electric shock, just holding their husbands' hands minimized their brains' response to the threat. Women in the closest relationships experienced the greatest decrease in stress-related brain activity.
Erhem, I don't mind holding his hands for the whole day hahahaha. The warmth of his hands DO make me feel calm when I get panicky. There were a few times when I was afraid and I felt alone, he held my hand tight in his warm ones when I didn't expect him to. I still remember once when we were on his car. :) I was over stressed and scared.. I didn't know what to do, and then he reached out for my hand and there, my pipe overflew. == Okay this is embarrassing. >< But yea, I like him holding my hands. :P
Number three, kiss at least once a day. According to the link, this intimate touch triggers the release of the bonding hormone oxytocin and lowers levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Not only that, researches say that when we kiss, we activate nearly half of the cranial nerves that affect cerebral function. All of the sensory information of a kiss -- the smell and and warmth of your partner's skin, the taste and feel of soft lips -- shoots into your brain, delighting your neurons and forging new connections.
Wow see how the passage makes kissing so holiao. @@ Okay the activation thingey does exist and come on, don't tell me your cells or hormones or anything stay calm when you're anywhere near your loved ones? (=3=)
Oh this is very useful. XD Put pictures of your honey on your desk. ^^ Brain scans show that looking at a photo of your beloved, especially in the early stages of your relationship, activates a part of the brain associated with pleasure and reward as well as focused attention and motivation. This same area is triggered when a cocaine addict gets a fix -- so you could literally get a healthy 'high' from looking at a picture of your love.
I planned to get a photo frame with his photo actually.. But I ended up giving him three small ones instead. XP Looking at his photos do help. Like when I'm tired, or I miss him a great deal, I'll just take out my cell phone -- Yea I have most of his photos in my phone. XP It's amazing to find that one can actually smile by just looking at a person's photos.. One day I'll get one of our best photos framed to be put on my desk. ^^
Last but not least, just be together. :) A study found that average blood pressure was lower when a person spent time with his or her spouse than when they spent time alone or with other people. Even if you don't talk, just spend time in the same room, reading, watching TV, surfing the web, or doing crossword puzzles.
This reminds me of that time when I went to dear's house to do my assignments. Something was wrong with my broadband so I had to go and leech his Streamyx. >< It was a very different experience. It was like, we didn't talk that much when compared to as usual, but I didn't feel lonely at all. :) Instead I felt like he actually accompanied me for the whole day. <3 It was very nice. ><
I was listening to songs on my playlist when Gibson shared this song at my status.. Another nice song to add to my list and so here it is. =)
Canon in D used to give me a very soothing feeling but this song made it erm.. Pretty depressing? I like the lyrics very much whereas for the music, I like the parts before the chorus especially. It now gives me two different feelings toward Canon in D. XP
A night with music can be just so romantic.. *flops back onto the floor with pillow*
I didn't blog last night as I was pushing myself to finish the first part for Math 1's assignment last night. And I managed to finish that part last night! =D Really sick of numeration systems now.. Orz.
So.. Regarding the bike payment, dad paid it off and we got back the keys. Everything is back to normal, just that there are a few more months' left to settle. I believe we'll be fine. :) Well I'll leave my money problem till after PBS.. Coz I can't do anything much now. Right?
I woke up happily this morning. ^^ Maybe because I was woken up by dear's message. :P And then I got myself busy immediately with assignments after brushing my teeth. I have this sudden motivation to finish everything I can do for Math 1 today and I did it! Okay almost only lah. >< I'm now working on the bibliography and all that's left is the part I need to work on with Chia when she comes tomorrow. Seriously translating Malay to Egyptian is so insane. I translate word by word and I see pictures only. Glad it's over. At least for now. @@
I haven't mentioned that I'm hooked up on Cityville right? :P Anyways, yea I'm kinda addicted to it in a way but I'm leveling up slower now as I've reached a higher level, plus with these assignments bugging me I need to put it aside.. I'm glad I'm actually working for these few days and I'm gonna reward myself by eating a ham sandwich now hahahaha! Lame. == That's my breakfast and lunch actually. Literally toasted bread and ham. *shrug*
AHHHHHHHHHHH I'm so gonna finish my Math 1 bibliography after food and then I'll start to work on Math 2. GOGOGO !!! >:D
I finally got myself into the assignment mode last night.. I got an idea on how to arrange the info by combining whatever I surfed from the internet. Though a little bit tired while waiting for dear to get online, I enjoyed the waiting hours as we chatted. And lastly the goodnight call I've been waiting. :)
I woke up early this morning, to receive a joy-killing news from dad. It seems like my bike's payments have been delayed again and the keys are now taken and kept till the payments are updated. I'm also surprised when I knew that dad didn't pay for my broadband bills yet. I handed him the money so that he'll be able to settle it when he's free.. I just hope that it'll be done before the next month as my broadband will be cut off if payments are delayed by three months. ><
Due to the payments' delay, I had to withdraw the rest of my allowance to pay it off. Frankly speaking, I feel kinda down about this.. The thing is I've been surviving in Ipoh on my allowance for the past whole month and I plan to keep the rest for the entire semester. At least I can take care of myself and I don't have to burden my parents. However I'm now a little bit worried about how am I going to settle this after my PBS.. I still have a little bit left from my red packets from CNY and I guess that will hang on for a week at least.. Till I think of another way.. I always feel bad to get money from my parents.. Sigh.
Ever since I moved out from the hostel, my food expenses has increased a lot. I plan to bring sandwiches to classes instead of throwing money at the canteen for non-fullfilling food. Worse comes to worst I'll just hang on till lunch or when I get back home. At least I can cut down on food expenses and the main meal will be my dinner. And dinner's the one I don't feel like skipping. XD Dear's worried too and he suggested we spend less when we go out but I think our dates aren't that costly anymore when compared to the last semesters. A meal and movies are okay. And sometimes at the arcade doesn't cost us that much too. It's simple and enjoyable enough for me.. I appreciate the concern and that's always been one of the reasons I keep telling myself that I'll be able to get through these. :)
Happy or not, I still need to face these problems. And I can't believe it's Tuesday already.. I seriously need to push myself harder in order to get everything done by this week.. Actions speak louder than words so.. I might be talking crap. Ignore me. XP