感动

由于想太多的毛病又犯了，今天我一直都在努力着让课业麻痹自己。效果还是有的。看来，今晚心情不好的不只我一个。

忙了整天，却连一份课业也没完成。翻了几个小时的报纸，和疼痛奋斗了那么久，很惊人的，我还在死撑着。明明是痛得要命了，明明是时候休息了，还在自虐，辜负了好多人的关心…

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同样的一句话，对每个人来说都有不同的意义。
当话说到心坎，那份感动就会自然而然地萌生了。

真的是很简单的一句话，但我也真的是被你感动了…

回到原点吧

我还以为，那是专属于我的。果然是不可以抱太大的希望。还是回到原点好了…

肩膀突然间痛得很厉害，比前两个星期还严重了。现在竟痛得连坐起来都很吃力，更不用说上网和做功课了。阿姨竟那么早就来了，再加上感冒了，今天似乎有点虚弱…

生病时，不只身体不对劲，脑子里也会乱乱来。我不允许自己再这样傻傻地被牵着鼻子走了。难道要因为这样而忘了最初的目标吗？不可以！

王羡妮，已经开心过了，总可以带着这美好的回忆向前走了吧？

满足

虽然花了近两个小时，但我认为是值得的。

但愿帮得上忙…

原来这样，也可以很满足~ 

想

想了又想，其实也没什么的。之前也说过了，还没准备好，所以其实是没什么必要去想的。况且我安于现状，就这样保持着，也没什么不好…

我安全通过‘开学过渡期’了！哈哈哈！是很废啦，但这是第一次这么怕回来啊。我从不介意忙着赶功课，我想应该是压力吧。再加上这个假期我什么也没做到，真的有点想撞墙的…不对，现在的我更想撞墙！我忘了带课业回就算了，现在连润肤霜也没带回来。这几天最好下下雨，不然我这皮肤敏感的脸皮就要痛死了。最最最最无可原谅的是，我竟忘了把宝贝带来啊！！！老天这是第一次我和它分开那么久啦！这几晚都很不习惯啊~~ TT^TT

今天咧，是第一次和大家一起在沟通平台演出。虽然我只是拿了扫把出现了那几秒，但区区几次的练习，似乎是在重温去年排演月游记的那段时光。我也就这样，看见了当初的我们。老实说啦，还真的是有点感动的。XD 

也许，我应该放下多余的猜疑来看待事物。不管是魔术表演，还是其他事情，真的应该试试改掉那想太多的坏习惯。我知道一天一夜是不可能做到的，但可能我可以从最基本做起。我相信这个可能性是存在的，因为来到了这里，我第一次想去信任了才认识那么短短几个月的朋友。SOBA 之间的信任也不是一朝一夕就有的。大家都很好，从头到尾，都是我个人的问题。可能是人太钝，被骗太多次了，那道心墙就自然而然的越来越坚固了。给我点时间，我会努力的。为了自己，也为了其他真心待我好的人~

刚刚睡了午觉，总算补回了前几晚没睡好的几个小时。XD 

现在人清醒多了~

Lazy Pug

...........in the end, I did nothing yesterday. So many things jumped out from nowhere and now my cousins and aunt are here. There is no way I can work anymore, well that's what I think for the moment. I might have to wait till the time when school reopens... Haih.

I'm feeling guilty now, my groupmates must be working hard alrdy. Sorry.. (>_<)

Unforgivably BLUR

Breathe in... Breathe out... Breathe in... and suffocate.

THIS IS SO UNFORGIVABLE. I actually left my BIK assignment paper at the hostel, along with the linear programming's hwmk and some notes I need for my assignments. I was so shocked that I dug through my luggages and bags. And yeah, I didnt bring them home. Eff me, as I was saying. Dad and mum are so gonna kill me if they see this. Orz.

One more thing, I THOUGHT TODAY WAS TUESDAY. Not THURSDAY. Now this is freaking stupid. Which means I'm only two days away from heading back to Ipoh. Back to the hell of assignments and work. Okay I know it's fun to see my classmates again but my goodness, I feel so UNPREPARED. D:

Calm down ShinDee, CALM DOWNNNNN.

Okay, now I must get my mind clear, of what I can do. And MUST DO.
*looks at homework list*

ORIGINAL LIST:
1) 记叙文

2) 雷雨（第2节）

3) 西游记（第99,100回）

4) BIK Summary

5) BIK Newspaper Cuttings

6) Catherine's Public Speaking Speech

7) Rosidah's Individual Essay (Intro & Content)

8) MT1 Assignment

9) MT2 Assignment

10) MT1 Transformation

11) MT2 Linear Programming

REVISION:
1) Most prolly a nono now. With the notes at the hostel.
2) I'll make sure I read it! Actually I've started, though only a little bit.
3) Same as number two. PIA AH !!!
4) Stupid me left it at the hostel.
5) TMRW'S WORK. Carrying the whole stack of'em back to Ipoh is...
6) Will do this after I've finished the urgent ones. Secondary.
7) TOMORROW'S WORK. COMPULSORY.
8) Cant do it by tomorrow I'm pretty sure of that.
9) Same as above.
10) GOGOGO! DO IT!
11) ........another stupid case. Orz.

CONCLUSION:
1) 雷雨（第2节）
2) 西游记（第99,100回）
3) BIK Newspaper Cuttings

4) Catherine's Public Speaking Speech

5) Rosidah's Individual Essay (Intro & Content)

6) MT1 Transformation

Dilemma: Should I take prostitution as the essay's topic? I'm hesitating as I'll have to present it in front of the whole class and I'm worried that it'll be slightly sensitive. Maybe it's just me I dunno.

I feel like an idiot. Still trying to calm down.

It feels so terrible being blur... TOO blur.

语无伦次

My shoulder is hurting like no one's business now. Eyes still sore.. But it happens once in a while. I just hope that  it'll get over soon. =)


今晚想早睡，让眼睛休息。真的很想试试全身按摩咧，每次都是帮人按，很想试试被别人按摩的感觉。说话都开始语无伦次了，真的该去睡了…


今天到档口去帮忙，笨手笨脚不太帮得上忙。但我总觉得，能够为他们做些事情，很开心…

要病了

…够力，真的是要生病了。
感冒还好，但眼睛很痛…
但愿睡醒了就没事。

Joy-killer

最近会用华文是有原因的。我想，既然是农历新年，也是第一次回家过年（是回到到家里过年哦），不如就干脆用华文。而且在这个传统节日，用华文也比较容易表达啊。

Okay I know this reason's a little bit swt. But that is exactly what I had in mind. XD

Had a headache when I got up this morning. Eyes were very sore too and the sniffing didnt stop till noon.  I think I kinda wasted today. Cant seem to get into work mode. I have so many assignments and homework on hand and yet I'm loafing around like nothing. I'm even beginning to forget what am I supposed to do this week my goodness.

Homework:

1) 记叙文

2) 雷雨（第2节）

3) 西游记（第99,100回）

4) BIK Summary

5) BIK Newspaper Cuttings

6) Catherine's Public Speaking Speech

7) Rosidah's Individual Essay (Intro & Content)

8) MT1 Assignment

9) MT2 Assignment

10) MT1 Transformation

11) MT2 Linear Programming

..........so many !!! And I dont think I will have time to do lah wei... TT^TT

又停电了

已经连续停电了三个晚上。想起来都有点好笑，今年的农历新年晚上竟都是在黑暗中度过的。不知道明天会不会再停电…

昨天和家人下去太平。老天爷心情好，虽然天气还是热，但也没前几年那么炽热了。妈妈心情好像特别好，太平一旅她几乎都是笑着的。还有还有，没想到今年有得买新衣咧！买了件长裤、长裙和一件上衣。我蛮喜欢那件红色上衣的，但要配长裤，穿起来又很正式，就应该会比较少穿吧。长裙一定是上课穿的咯。我知道我又再买长裤了。但没办法啊，我本来就不是穿裙的料。穿裤比较自在，我没那么斯文。XD 要不是学院规定女生上课得穿裙子，我衣橱里连一件裙子都不会有。哦对了，还买了一双鞋子。其实是要买拖鞋的，找了很久都找不到。后来我和妈找到的，竟是一双三寸高跟。好像是三寸，明天量看。所以现在又有了一个新的挑战，穿着它走路。还好不是细根的，不然铁定走断我双腿。

今天到芳芳姐的家去，一去就去了整天。老天，吃饱就睡，睡饱有吃。我就这样重了半公斤你相信吗？虽然说回到怡保时是很容易减肥的，但还是有点心痛。唉…说了还真奇怪，那星期明明就晚晚都有吃宵夜，还能减了一公斤。是因为运动量增加了吗？还是真的想声超讲的那样，体重机坏了？不要这样啦，好不容易才有那份成就感的…

这次停电停了一个小时，我就和黑暗奋斗一个小时。结果呢，胆小的我还是很怕。和弟弟聊天时，才知道原来他也怕暗的，只是我看不出来而已。他说怕归怕，看我要怎么去处理那份恐惧感。才要认真地去想有什么办法的时候，灯又亮了。

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！没什么，突然间很无聊。应该是今天睡得太多了。XD

今晚心情好

早上发生了一些不太愉快的事情，今晚的心情却意外地非常好。应该是因为我已经很久没有和这么多人庆祝新年了吧。虽然说我所谓的‘庆祝’只是通过简讯和上网聊新年计划，但还是过得很开心。短短几个小时，已足以让我忘了那些恼人的事情。


刚刚很好笑，我家整个地区竟停电了。而且是刚好接近十二点的时候！停电不久，邻居大量放鞭炮。四处都是噼啪噼啪声，好怀念以前和外婆一起玩烟花、放鞭炮的日子…鞭炮一放完，灯才亮，我才能上网。处于那片黑暗时，因为有邻居孩子们的欢笑声和那令人怀念的鞭炮声，有那么一下子，我并没有感到恐惧。反之，心里是暖暖的…


明天要到太平去拜祖父母了。父母还笑说我刚从怡保回来又要到太平去。很久没去了，每次都是因为我在怡保忙，无法跟着去。今年新年好像特别热，太平你可不可以不要那么热啊？TT^TT


明天要八点起床。快睡快睡～

The Missing Mood

Again, my classmates showed me things I've never really noticed before..

Chinese New Year was never too special for me. To me, it's just like another week of public holidays, and if fortunately, with extra income. XD Due to financial problems, my family doesn't really go for New Year shopping. We might just decorate the empty walls in the house a little bit, just to spice up the atmosphere. Our relatives aren't around in Penang. So we almost don't have any visitors. New Year is mostly quiet for us.

My classmates are different. I was so awed when I saw and heard them discussing about CNY''s preparations and stuff. They actually spend a month or two, to clean up, to shop, to decorate, to make biscuits. They go out and enjoy with friends and family. There's so much to do within that short week of holiday. No wonder they said one week is nowhere near the word 'enough'.

Everyone's looking forward to CNY, look at all the decorations and plans they've made.. They're so enthusiastic. Unlike me, feeling almost nothing.. Pathetic.

夜盲

我是不是有夜盲，我自己也不知道。 只知道现在在黑暗中是不太看得见东西了。我还没严重到伸手不见五指的程度，所以不肯定。

原来看不见东西是很恐怖的。 虽然以前曾经用布条遮住眼睛玩游戏，但那感觉不一样。因为我在怕的时候还可以立刻拉掉布条。刚刚从体育馆走回宿舍时，真的是不得不放慢脚步，无法像白天上课时走得比较快。真的很暗，连草地和马路都分不清楚。只看得见前方走廊的灯，所以就直直向前走。低头看的时候，我竟连我的拖鞋也看不见了。我知道近视会影响到夜时的视线，但我近视很浅啊，我不觉得会严重到这个样子咯…

有个朋友曾经问过我，我最不能接受什么类似的残障。我直接回答，我不能失去我的眼睛和双手。没了脚，我最多心痛点，放弃羽球乒乓、放弃跆拳道、放弃运动。而且有钱的话，可以用义肢啊。然后再努力，一定可以在走路。反正我都很少和朋友出门，最多嘛呆在家里，因该没差吧。我本身就是个没有安全感的人。看不见东西，我会慌会怕。就算能冷静，也会抖得不像样。胆小鬼…至于双手，我不能忍受没得触摸东西的感觉。我不能忍受要靠别人喂我吃东西、帮我拿东西，而自己就像个傻子一样，什么都不能做。我需要能证明我自己的事情、事物。

我在晚上越来越看不见东西。真的有点担心了…

我摄影，我珍惜

摄影，是个能让瞬间变成永恒的魔法。

Posted this on my FB wall. I understand that many would recognize this line from the taiwan series. I know there will be people liking it. They'll think I like the post due to the series. But I would like to clarify, that that is definitely not the reason I like that post.

My camera... is for me to record memories. Memories I treasure, memories I want to keep forever.. It's so amusing, that in a way, time stopped when the camera light flashes. And you see an image, leaving proof of everything that happened. I need these proof. =)

Those who know me well, will understand. And I doubt, without reading this blog post, how many would?
我摄影，我珍惜。

Rise and Shine

Just as expected, the net's so much better early in the morning. Another reason I choose to wake up earlier in the morning to do homework, is that I feel fresher, and I really dont want to stay up late for homework anymore. I've been going to bed pretty late for the last semester and look at my eyebags! Sheesh these aren't gonna disappear man...

Waking up early in the morning isn't that hard as I thought, provided if I go to bed earlier on the night before of course. XD The only thing to worry about is whether I slam my alarms to silence and sink back into bed. Yesh ALARMSSSS. I need THREE of them. The original alarm clock, and the other two will be the phones'. Just in case ah. XD

I think I'd better head back to work. XP

Mou Liu

Lalalalala. I'M HERE, when I'm not supposed to be, again. XDDDD Apparently our 'beloved' math lecturer is SICK, so we have today off. Well that's what he told us YESTERDAY. Obvious. Orz.

Anyway... Within 13 minutes I should be heading to the gymnasium again to practice our gymrama. Actually it's gymnastic, but since we call it gymrama, and it isn't really gymnastic, so gymrama it is. I think. :P

Obviously... I didnt take my medication again. XDDD

I RAN IN THE RAIN =D

Hahahahaha. Went out for dinner with the others and it was raining heavily when we wanted to leave. And guess what, WE RAN IN THE RAIN. =D

I cant find words to explain and really, it was just so overwhelming when we laughed and ran in the rain to get to the car, which was parked opposite the road. No umbrellas, so what do you expect? Hahahaha.

Okay I know this is kinda swt. But I'm happy what. XD

Coffee Night

Peaceful and calm are the words I use to describe my tonight. =)

I should be worn  out by now, after all the exercise today. Gymrama and softball, everything done in a day can be pretty tiring. But surprisingly, I’m not. In fact I’m feeling pretty comfy tonight.

I’m proud of my groupmates for gymrama. I love the way we cooperate to compile ideas for the movements’ arrangement. I enjoyed myself when we fooled around with the gymrama accessories. I like it when we actually managed to show the lecturer SOMETHING. Hahahaha. We started practising only an hour before presenting and we totally werent ready for the third and fourth song. I was shocked that they actually wanted me to lead the part for the two songs as we didnt practise those parts at all. For one thing, I have no idea why was I born with absolutely non-creative cells in the brain. And secondly, I suck at tempos and dancing! So yeah, I did darn unsatisfying simple movements. As expected? XP Still, we’re going to continue practice at the gym tomorrow after class. It’s been a long while since the ten of us get together to do something. Ten of us... That was so long ago. I wonder if anyone remembers how it was like when it was the only ten of us. Everything was so awesome. Mind you, I’m not complaining that it’s thirteen now. Anyway, I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s practice. =3

Softball is great, and also not enough, as usual. XD I yearn for more seriously. You have no bloody clue how excited I was when I knew I was going to learn softball! It’s like, almost a dream come true! I’ve always been waiting for a chance, to understand what it feels like to hold a baseball, the throwing, the catching, etc. Today the coach taught us how to pitch. To find a pitcher sure isn’t easy. Anyone can be a batter, a catcher or a runner, but not a pitcher. Not everyone can pitch. You can see all the balls flying aimlessly at the field today. The scene made me feel so excited and this is not the first time. =) Every week I look forward to softball practice but I feel disappointed each time. The coach is experienced and responsible enough. But the practice hours are always insufficient. How do you expect a person to learn the basics (at least) soon enough to play, within approximately  months? Not to mention that practice is only once a week, and one and a half hours every practice. OTL. I’ve actually thought of seeking the coach personally to ask her more on softball, and see if she’s willing to teach? Hee. XD

Anyway... I kinda like tonight. There’re lots of stuff to do actually, but I seem to allow myself to slow down the hectic pace. Made myself a cup of steaming hot coffee, and sat in front of my beloved Lappy. I finished washing my clothes. I watched an episode of Eyeshield. Smelling the super nice aroma of the coffee steam is just so so so so GOOD! XD It’s just so soothing... It made me feels so calm... So nice... Yet so sleepy. Hahahahaha. So I guess that means no way coffee is gonna help in keeping me awake for the whole night. ^^

*scrolls upwards and looks*

.....speechless. I cant remember the last time I wrote a post this long. Hahaha. XD

Thank You

Two days seem to be a little bit short this time. It’s like I’ve only stayed at home for less than 24 hours and here I am again, back in Ipoh.

Just finished trimming the tracks we need for our PJ gymrama. My god it seriously took me hours man. What’s more, we’ll be performing stuff within 12 hours! I’ve no single clue how are we gonna make it tomorrow. The moves aren’t even ready yet..

I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED THE BADMINTON MATCHES. ARGHHHHHHHHH. I didn’t know that there were sports tournaments going on this weekend. And I was NOT AROUND. ARGHHHHHHHH. I wanted to watch them so badly damnit! Singles and doubles! I’ve been waiting for weeks man! Dang! I’m not sure whether the basketball matches are over yet but oh pleaseeeee NO. I wouldn’t want to miss that too lahhhhhh. TT^TT

Erm, I know I’ve been pretty emotional lately, especially online. I guess I tend to think a lot when I’m alone in front of the computer, or Lappy. Anyway, I would like to thank friends who showed concerned last week when I sort of broke down..  I really didn’t expect myself to behave that way. I’m touched, and grateful. Thank you all.

I’d better be off. Had only 4 hours of sleep yesterday.