30 April, 2009


I'm just here.... To be here. Didnt log in for days, eversince the erm, stupid post. Actually what happened that night was, I was reading something, and I've totally no idea what happened, so I just went you know... Crappy. I came here to rant, and left immediately after that. Didnt visit this blog for days till now. I guess I was embarrassed by myself for doing this. Sorry for the late replies at my spam corner. I just saw it today. And thank you anonymus, fish, kits and audrey. =3 I just read the post today, as I didnt take another look at it after I wrote that, and I find it very.....BLEH. Hope it didnt hurt your eyes. (>.<) And sorry for wasting your time on it. >_>

25 April, 2009

Stupid Post. Ha. Ha. Ha.

I really do need to see you guys again... I really miss you all... I'm so tired and I really dont understand how did I manage to survive after all these months not going out to catch up with you guys. I dont know what the hell am I doing now. I cant even write an essay properly and I do feel so damn useless. Throw me into the sea. Stab me with a knife. Stuff me with a great big pillow. Anything. Just let me stop thinking for a while. I've no blardy idea what am I writing here coz I'm just typing out whatever that comes across this stupid empty head but at least I'm backspacing some spelling errors that I notice as I look at the screen whenever I type and oh great, at least I'm good at this. I know I shouldnt post this here and hurt people's eyes but I just dont care anymore coz I really wish I could just stop thinking so much and ya I know I think too much most of the time and great I dont seem to make any sense here anymore. Idiot. When I heard all your voices you have no idea how much I miss you all and just getting out is so damn hard for me that I feel like soooooooooooo what the hell. Cant I just have a break and get rid of everything for at least a day and not even remembering any of it for the rest of the 24 hours. No, impossible. I suck at talking. I always say things I dont mean to and I hurt ppl's feelings most of the time. I suck at talking, in front of strangers too. I'm now so freaked out of this stupid interview and I know I dont need to as everyone kept saying I'll be okay fine dont worry but who knows I'll screw up everything that day and break all the bubbles of those expectations and I dont know whether I can ever look at those faces anymore if I fail. It happened so many times that I'm getting so blardy fed up and I'm just scared so what. Call me a chicken or whatever you please. I just dont know what to do now other than typing like someone who hasnt in ages or what. Yes I should be trying my best to write but I just cant seem to squeeze out even a word. Ya I'm an idiot, wasting my time like this I know. I suck at malay. Otherwise even with such a good bm teacher how could I have ended up among the rare ones in the class who didnt get grades good enough for bm? Fine call me a kiasu too and its even more silly being a kiasu when you always su. And the more I use my head the more I think of super not supposed to think things that make me go haywire like this and now I'm even beginning to count out my failures. I'm getting ready for this interview to get myself to teach kids but I cant even handle this small rascal at home properly. I can make him cry easily. I'm a bad sister and I suck at housework. I dont seem to do anything right. Mum's right. I'm one spoiled brat. Eventhough I've been helping out with chores for months I still suck at it. I'm still lazy. I just cant stick to plans. I have poor discipline and I've no single clue what the hell was in my seniors' heads when they chose me. I like chinese, but after a few months of not writing in chinese I get so sucky that I find it hard to get back to it. Still so thick faced to say I like this subject. I adore math but I've not been doing anything about it and I'm sure my brain has rusted and by the time I get back to school or anything I'll sure suffer and die. Another point supporting the fact that I'm so thick faced. I'm selfish and how can I still complain about my brother being a fishmonger when I myself suck at being not selfish. I cant help my friends no matter how much I want to. They're facing so much pressure and probably worse than me and I dont know how to comfort or cheer them up. I suck at comforting anyone. Everyone's doing something, on the way to their goals, moving forward while I'm still stuck here, whining like a noisy brat, annoying ppl. And ya, I'm beginning to annoy ppl so much that I'm getting afraid to talk too much to anyone face to face coz I might end up hurting or annoying anyone again and I reallly dont want that to happen again. I'm sorry to those I've lost my temper at and I know no matter how much I apologise the thorn or wound or whatever might still be there and who knows it might never ever be healed and I'm not sure whether you guys will read this or not but I'll just say it here anyway since I'm alrdy ranting non stop. Sorry no cure was one of the lines I used to make jokes with a lot and I know this phrase can be so true that it hurts so much. And great I really dont know what have I been typing for the few minutes or more and I know I'll definitely sound so stupid and kiampak but I think I might be able to count the number of those reading this with two hands, or probably one, and I've really have no idea of how much I've alrdy typed and my hands seems like they can still go on but hell I really know that I should stop now before I continue embarrasing myself here.

23 April, 2009


3rd day of sakit. I'm still at home. During lunch. Went to check the edu site. Again. Nothing much. So I went to lepak again. Hmm...

Oooo... My friendster... More than a month tak sentuh dy. Hahahaha. Someone actually wished me happy birthday on the 16th. That's super early. Hahahahaha. As expected, nothing much there. *wanders off*

Next, my facebook. Owh.... Nothing much too. I still have tonnes of tags to do. But..... I'm lazy. So many... Nah, next time. *wanders off again*

Hmmm... Ohyaaaa. Pergi visit cbox. Jalan jalan jalan jalan... Then blogs... Jalan jalan jalan jalan...

I'm hungry. So went to the kitchen to hunt for bread. Found peanut butter too. But when I finished the sandwich, I noticed that the peanut butter had expired.... Maybe months. Chia lat. *takes a big bite at her plain gardenia* CHEW CHEW CHEW.


WEI YUN ~~~~

Yes I panicked when I saw the TAHNIAH this morning. Kinda obvious eh? *looks at previous post* And bla bla bla things happened today, cant talk about it as I'm gonna faint soon.

I wanna hug Wei Yun for listening to me tonight. I really missed your voice, and I really missed seeing you. *sighs*

Exams suck. They separate us from seeing each other. *kills*

P/S: It's exactly a month away from your birthday!

We're gonna meet soon !!! =3

22 April, 2009

Sick Rant

Why yes, I should be working at my dad's stall right now but I'm not. Ha. Ha. Orz. I guess you can agak agak know why. I'm STILL sick. Orz. I should feel better after a good night's rest and a pill of decogen last night but somehow it didnt really work. I still have a super runny nose, a damn heavy head and I'm still shivering.
After finishing all the kitchen work this morning, finally I can rest. But but but. Jumped outta bed coz I just remembered that today's the day, the results for my PISMP, whether I qualify or not. And what the hell, I AM qualified! What's more, to attend the interview, I'm asked to write pages of stuff.

(Hendaklah ditulis dengan tulisan tangan calon sendiri)

1) Secara ringkas sila nyatakan:
a) Mengapa anda memilih profesion perguruan
b) Pengalaman anda dalam bidang keguruan
2) Sekiranya anda terpilih apakah yang dapat anda sumbangkan terhadap bidang keguruan?
*Jika ruang ini tidak mencukupi sila sambung di muka surat 2.

1) Secara ringkas sila nyatakan:
a) Mengapa anda memilih bidang keguruan
b) Pengalaman anda berinteraksi dengan kanak-kanak atau remaja
2) Sekiranya anda terpilih menjadi guru apakah yang dapat anda sumbangkan?
*Jika ruang ini tidak mencukupi sila sambung di muka surat belakang.

Please dont ask me why. I know both look the same, but they put it that way.

I just made up my mind to drop matrics and take F6. I know its suicidal, and according to fei-ma it's really really really hard even for a bookworm. Orz. Grar. I didnt know I'll be qualified for the teaching course. Was thinking, NAH, WONT GET ONE LAH. JUST FOCUS STUDYING IN FORM 6. God, now what. I've to write tons of stuff and I'm really not prepared at all. NUUUUUUUUU.

DAMN I HATE GETTING SICK. I dont mind breaking my leg or something similar, as long as it doesnt affect my mind and bla bla bla. Now I'm feeling kinda terrible and darn, I'm gonna put this aside and get to it later after my sleep. Damnit.

Sick Spams

I thought it was hard to put up a chatbox actually. XP (Echoes: Told you guys its easy... easy... easy...) Hahahahaha. *swt* Really, it took only a few minutes to get one. The steps are clearly written there. Just clicked on the link, signed up for an account, copied the html, add it to the html gadget at the customise layout page, and TAA DAAAA. IT'S THERE. XD To those who are still thinking of getting one or not, just get it la. Even sotong the technologically challenged one can do it. *gets kicked*

Nyam nyam, I ish terribly sick tonight. Think I kena food poisoning. Plus I walked in the rain today. So its kinda... *sniff sniff* Shall go off soon naa. *ish hugging bushy now*

Oh my dear bed, I'm coming ~~~~~~ XD

20 April, 2009


OH GOD, I've been trying for months and months. And everytime I click on the NEW POST link, I prayed and prayed and hoped hoped that it'd work for only once. And finally today, 4.22pm. IT WORKED. WOOHOOOOOOOOO~~~

I know those who're reading this dont have the slightest clue of what I'm saying. So I'm gonna tell you nao....


*is smacked terribly for this*