Eyes Closing @@

ARGHHHHHHH !!!!

My eyes are gonna close any minute now !!! But 西游记 and 三代成巴 are near to the end already !!! Although I don't really think I can finish everything before I sleep, but I do hope I can.. TT^TT

Needs Motivation

Happy National Day Malaysians!

Okay that was just a lame opening. == I woke up pretty late today, around ten. XD Another day for assignments I guess, but I've kinda lost my motivation.. 西游记的艺术特色, 绝症三代成巴摘录要点, and 姓名文字演变.. Sheesh is it possible to finish everything within a day..?

Oh please I need motivation now lah wei.. I don't wanna trouble others anymore just because I don't have the mood. I don't have the motivation, that doesn't mean the people around me doesn't feel like working too.. I should be independent, I should learn how to get into the work mode on my own.. I must not depend on others too much.. I must learn..

寂寞寂寞就好

田馥甄 HEBE - 寂寞寂寞就好

作曲：杨子朴

作曲：施人诚

還是原來那個我 不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾 遲早我會換這張臉 一堆笑容

不算什麼 愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯 早一點解脫

我 寂寞寂寞就好
這時候誰都別來安慰 擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了
傷到 快瘋掉 死不了就還好

我 寂寞寂寞就好
你真的不用來我回憶裡 微笑
我就不相信我會笨到 忘不了
賴著 不放掉 人本來就寂寞的
撿來的都該還掉
我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你 是我自己做夢你又改變什麼
再多的愛也沒有 每個人有每個人的業障因果
會有什麼 什麼都沒有 早點看破 才看得見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好
這時候誰都別來安慰 擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了
傷到 快瘋掉 死不了就還好

我寂寞寂寞就好
你真的不用來我回憶裡 微笑
我就不相信我會笨到 忘不了
賴著 不放掉 人本來就寂寞的
我總會把你戒掉

当一个人，没有依靠，没有人陪…

寂寞寂寞就好，寂寞寂寞就会好了…

Random Activities with Lappy

I've been facing lappy for the whole afternoon. Playing online games, downloading songs, facebooking.. I'm now even at 泡沫之夏's 25th episode. Eyes are getting sore. >< But at least I've started doing the assignment for Journey to the West. It's a little bit harder than what I expected. ><

Josephine called up a few days ago. It seems like yukee and I might be getting part time jobs during the year end break. =) I might even get the chance to be Santa Claus again this year. ^^ I do hope everything is gonna go well. One reason for experience, second for the cash of course. XD

Missing dear, but I'll still carry on with my assignment, as what I've promised. =)

让你们失望了…

很不开心…明明能见到她们的了…明明安排得七七八八的了…

现在搞到大家都很失望很不开心…

为什么要这样子…

=(

I'm missing someone terribly.. =(

At BMK

A wednesday without a date with dear. Back to the assignments. *sigh*

First and foremost, CONGRATS TO ME! I've completed two assignments before the deadlines !! For the very first time in three semesters. XD I'm now working on BMK. I'm confident that I can finish it soon. ;)

Though I already have an idea on how to finish it.. I just can't feel happy or excited somehow.. Dunno lah.. Back to BMK..

New Motivation Needed

我需要新的推动力…
原本的MOTIVATION已经被摧毁了…

TT^TT

==

SWTTTTTTTTT. GO DIE LAH.
BISING KAT BLOGGY SAJA. ==

推动力

想太多从来都不是件好事。

说是女生的天生本性也好，

说是我爱多愁善感也好。

是时候化悲愤为力量了

伤

大伤

还是小伤

一个星期内要承受那么多

我会累的

真的会累的…

错了吗

想了整晚…

好像

还是错的

请相信我的认真

我正努力地安排时间，认真想着要如何用最短的时间做完最多的事情。我甚至替自己设定了更早的呈交日期。我从没想过我会提早完成课业。所以第二份第三份我也想这么做。可能是种鼓励吧。不然我也不会那么破天荒地赶。有人告诉过我，最后一分钟也能做得到，不如试试提早做，甚至做得更好。我是有听进去的。我有安排的。我很难相信，此刻此刻的我能这么想要提早赶完课业。我真的是在努力着，我真的在改善着了。我真的是认真的…

想那么多干屁，哭到半死还不是一样。
浪费时间。我不想了。

Obstacles - Not Permanent

Sometimes things just can't work the way we want. All we can do is to bear with it, and cope with it. Happy or not, time never stops for you. I understand that I emo, I complain, I cry, I wail over things whenever I feel bad. At the same time, I understand too, that I laugh, I shriek, I celebrate, I smile. I will try my best to get over everything, for everyone who cares for me.

Obstacles come and go.
Coz as we all know, nothing stays forever.

Life Goes On

Two weeks seem so long.. So long until I can't actually recall how did I spend the last weekend here. Assignment deadlines are just around the corner. EQ's on monday, PN's on thursday, while BMK can be either on thursday or the following monday. On the way to PN now. I'm only left with the bibliography for EQ.

Sometimes, I wish that I don't see the truth. Just let it stay hidden. At least I know I'll feel better, even though that means I'm just deceiving myself, hiding away from everything.

Anyway, life goes on. I might as well face everything with a smile.
Though faint, but the curve will still create changes. =)

Assignment Mode: ON

Third continuous morning for waking up at around 4am to 5am. Whenever I look into the mirror, I feel like tugging my hair and burying my face into my pillows..

PIMPLES. THEY'RE ALL OVER MY FACE.

Okay it wasn't that bad and I was just exaggerating. But still, I just can't accept the fact that there're so many red dots and holes and scars on my face! My goodness I take my face as one of my assets! *shot* Must seriously get a good rest after all these troublesome and stressful assignments. T^T

I managed to finish my first part of EQ last night. I'm now awake again to work on the reflection part. Obviously I'm not in time to show it to the lecturer this morning. I was thinking of bringing lappy to the office to meet her in the evening if she's free. Worse come to worst, I might just wake up and head to the office earlier in the morning tomorrow? Just that I don't like the idea of walking to the other end of the school so early in the morning.. Wonder if I'd get someone to accompany me.. Coz it's so far and so early.. I doubt that I will find someone.. T^T

Enough with all the crap. Switched on my assignment mode last night and I wanna continue writing and keep the mode on. Hope it lasts till I finish all my assignments.

GOGOGO. =D

Must Continue

PN class was cancelled at the eleventh hour, so I happily brought my nasi lemak back to my room. Next class will be at 12.30pm. MT1's quiz shouldn't be a problem... I think. ><

I'm currently at 谈情说案's epi 20. I really want to finish it clear out another 5GB from lappy. Something's wrong with my tummy today, went to the toilet once, but the stomachache hasn't stopped till now. *sigh*

I'm still not done with EQ's essay yet. I seriously hope I can finish it real soon to start with PN. When I saw dear  spending a few hours on only half of the reflection part, I doubt how much time will I use to complete this assignment. =(

After waking up early for two days continuously, my eyes are kinda tired.. I'll see if I'm tired. If I can sacrifice my nap, I will continue with the essay-writing.

Gogogo. =)

Getting Pumped

I am impressed by my classmates. How in the world did you all actually write the 6 pages of essay?? Seriously I think it's my own problem. I thought it's gonna be so easy, just like drinking a glass of water. Okay now what, the result of being over-confident and boasting is my brain being stuck here. I'm still at the second page, but I believe I can do it! It's just a matter of time. ==

I'M PUMPED. >:D

Starting Off Unwillingly

Frankly speaking, I do feel the pressure when everyone around me has started rushing their assignments. I shouldn't be loafing around already I know.. 

EQ and PN are the two troublesome ones we're supposed to work on right now as the date of submission will be on the 23rd. I've not even touched PN and this particular one seems to be the worst essay assignment. == 

....I don't even have the energy to blog. *sigh* And today's class is quite relaxing, not that unbearable. Why am I still no unmotivated..

Starting off with EQ tonight I guess.. =S

Waking Up

Eleven thirty, I'm back in the room. Will head to Dewan Sri Melati around twelve for our BIK assignment briefing. I'm a little bit excited actually..? *shot and kicked off cliff*

Okay that was really kiampak but I guess it's because this will be officially my first English assignment for Sem Three. Puan Liza said that it'll be about an oral presentation, for me it's exactly the same as the public speaking assignment we did last semester. Wonder what themes will they give this time.. I had a hard time choosing my topic. Orz.

I seem to be very forgetful these days. I'm still not in the assignment mode whereas my classmates are already moving on. Same goes to him too.. I've almost forgotten that I have a quiz on differentiation too tomorrow. Seriously if this carries on I'm gonna be so dead.

I should really start of with something soon. Soon enough for me to enjoy my weekends and dates. *sigh*

MUST START WORK

A very cloudy evening.. I didn't follow Chia and the others out for karaoke today, though we don't have class. Actually I planned to stay at the library for assignment research, but I just don't like to stay there alone, same goes to eating alone.. So headed back to the hostel early.

I felt a little bit giddy, couldn't hold back the temptation so I took a nap at noon. >< Yea I know I wasted a good day again, but I can't get why am I feeling so unwell these few weeks. I was thinking that maybe it has something to do with my sleepless nights, I get nightmares every night too. I don't know..

A lot happened between dear and I this week.. My fault.. I made him worry, I made him sad.. Everything was fine.. I was the one who spoiled everything.. I think I'm getting more and more emotional.. I need to relearn how to control my emotions well, seriously..

Come to think of it, I can be really selfish and inconsiderate at times.. This is disappointing.. I had been trying so hard to get rid of my hateful weaknesses, especially this idiotic temper. Somehow I let my emotions take over and started being a spoiled brat all over again.. I don't want to.. I don't want the old me.. I hate it so much..

I need to clear all the clogged up thoughts in my head as soon as I can. My assignments are already piling up in front of my eyes and what the hell am I doing here? Nothing.. PN and EQ's assignment are to be submitted on the 23th of August, so soon. Orz. I haven't thought of a title for my BMK oral presentation. I haven't prepared the presentation for next week's badminton. I haven't finished editing the powerpoint for Journey to the West. I've done nothing..

I seriously should start working now.. I made a promise, and he's already started.. It's my own fault if I'm left behind someday..

Sleepless Nights

A great deal happened.. Didn't know it could be so heartbreaking..

Sleepless nights..
Why are you the only one following me every now and then..

Excited

Finally we presented our drama for the very first time in front of a few classes and a lecturer. Without props though. XP Everything was pretty okay. K6, the class of juniors we're cooperating with, did pretty well and somehow I think we made the right choice? XD

It's a good thing I didn't expose the name of my little master here. Coz I've just realised that my blog can be pretty public in a way. I was mass-adding this class, of course those I know lah. And bloggy's URL is written right underneath my profile picture. == 

Anyway.. I'm in a damn good mood now hahahaha. So different when compared to the mood of my previous posts. =P Had a great time FB'ing, chatting with peizhen and chia, and also sms'ing him. ^^

I CANT BELIEVE I'M FINALLY WEARING MY BLAZER TOMORROW. XD

Back ;)

Had a fifteen minutes' nap. I still feel kinda giddy. @@

I kinda polluted my bloggy again didn't I? == Things weren't that bad anyway.. Like I've said, always think on the bright side. Shit happens in life as challenges, specially necessary for lazy asses like me. =P

Sooyin's back in the room. ^^ Haven't had a daytime chat with her for such a long time dy. XD After this post I'm gonna reply my little master's letter and do some grammar checking practice.

Toodles. ;)

Rambles

No more fever, nose's still stuck with mucus and I've no idea why in the world is there dried blood in my nose. == Anyway, sore throat's gone, no coughing, which sounds good. That whole chuck of phlegm has reduced, so I guess the only thing I'm suffering from is flu. And some issues.

I don't know why things have to turn into situations like this. If this is gonna make the whole world happy I seriously don't mind staying the way I am now for the rest of my life.. Unfortunately it's NOT. And I'm no genius with a freaking excellent IQ of 200, so how am I to know what are in these beings' heads? I do have to the urge to relocate the key I've put away for so long. The key I used to have to lock up myself until I've figured things out. I mean like, I don't think I deserve to be treated this way. Like you look for me when you needed me, and then you just ditch me or treat me like air -- NO wait, air is important as you can't survive without air. Orz. -- when you don't need me.

Again, I lost my appetite. I still feel hungry, and I still yearn for all the nasi lemak and fried chicken. But I just don't like the idea of wandering around the campus like a ghost or something.. Might as well don't eat.. I was telling chia that I missed the telur dadar opposite the campus. Maybe I should get a night out.

I've got my assignments now. BC consists of four parts, two of Malaysian Chinese Literature, one on Journey to the West whilst the last part on Chinese Figures. A little bit hard and troublesome but I think we should be able to accomplish it?

BMK -- An essay of at least 1000 words, something on either economy social or education. We can include all three if we want. It's similar to the public speaking assignment we did for Sem 2's BI coz we'll need to present the speech with a powerpoint presentation too.

EQ -- A SHORT essay with TIDAK KURANG daripada 10 MUKA SURAT. Apani.. And this is the assignment that we'll need to hand in soon enough.16th August. And god knows why we will only have our briefing on next monday. Orz.

MT1 -- Clinometer thingey, it involves a lot of practical work. I never like the sounds of meters and bla bla bla. Eversince high school the ammeter voltmeter whatever meters are like alien machines. ==

MT2 -- Okay, a very very theoretical and thoroughly written report. So most of the components are like write write write and write. Individual, sounds nice for written work. Good.

Despite all the assignments, we have drama practice almost every night. I should be thankful that I'm only a grandma, so nothing much to worry about -- I've always been taking the old-lady-characters. XD

My little master and I are going on well. He's getting more and more active in his letters. But I don't get to see him much, so it's a little bit hard to know how's he doing if he doesn't update himself in his letters. Found his FB found his blog. I'm beginning to stalk. =P

Wondering why am I blogging at this time of the day? Coz go me, I have only an hour of Catherine's L&S this morning. Though another homework on forum thingey. Was kinda happy till I remember that I still have badminton in the evening. >__> Seriously that lecturer made me lose my interest in badminton. Orz.

I'm getting tired.. I miss home.. Can't go home, so all I could wish for is to stay in the room.. I don't want to think of anything anymore.. I don't want to let it out on anyone.. Don't want to hurt anyone anymore.. I only want my pillow, I only want my lappy.. I don't want to think, please take away my brains.. I miss my family I miss mum and dad I miss my brothers I miss my bed and the big big comfortor where I can always wrap myself inside..

First MC at IPIP

My fever has been on and off for three nights continuously whereas my flu and mild cough / sore throat stay back. So called loyal fans. Orz.

Went to the clinic with taifen and him today. Both of them have more serious fever, but I'm the one who had to take a blood test and take antibiotics. == The clinic people suspected that I have dengue. Saw the wall posts at the clinic, didn't know that there are so many dengue cases now. Sooyin says that there must be cases here at the campus too. Coz there was this dengue spray thingey going on lately. Anyway, I'm still giddy and fortunately practice is cancelled.

Assignments are pouring in and somehow most of them are based on writing. Interesting. In a way I'm happy coz I suck at practical work. Oh wait, we have BMK, BIK and BI, three oral presentations this sem. T^T Thanks goodness there're some individual work. Coz I have many classmates who do their work fast and I don't think they'd want a lazy ass like me.

Skipped class today with an MC. Feel kinda left out though.. So used to going everywhere to the girls almost everyday.. Dunno lah.. I felt kinda touched when peizhen actually came to visit me in the afternoon today. My roommate and sherr are really considerate too. 

I'm afraid that I still can't go out tomorrow.. Most probably I'll be spending my evening at the library? Since I've got nothing better to do. Badminton is definitely a no-no for patients. Sigh.

I dont' know but.. I see changes, again. Disappointing changes. But there are various perspectives for everything, so I might as well look on the bright side. Right..?