Learning to be Independent

I had many nightmares for the whole night and I woke up crying.. I'm feeling very terrible for no reason.. I hesitated for a very long time before I plucked up the courage to text him. He's been busy for quite a while and sometimes I do feel left out. >< I understand that he must have his own time so I've always been looking for things to do, hoping that time will pass more quickly. It's the midnight chat that I'm looking forward to every day now.. 

I was doing fine yesterday. I managed to cheer myself up during the day. =) I did many things. I even finished labeling ALL of my blog posts. I surfed and read about many things. I read two novels. I cleaned and cleared up some junk. I kept telling myself, I'll get my reward when I get on MSN at night. But things just don't always go the way as we want it too..

I got worried so I texted him. I planned not to but I was still worried. I couldn't hold it back.. I'm still afraid that the same thing will happen all over again..

Last night I finally got to chat with Audrey again. I missed her so much. I'm glad she's enjoying her work and everything. :) Cosplay, forum chats, mass spamming, violent emoticons fights.. Everything seems so long ago..

I learnt something, I must have faith in the both of us. Eversince a long time ago, I've made up my mind that I'll not give up no matter how hard it takes.Whatever obstacles that come in between are tests to strengthen our relationship. All the unhappiness and misunderstandings. No matter how depressed I feel, I must always bear in mind that these will not last long and everything will be just fine. I just need to find ways to overcome the fear and stay calm. I must not let those bloody emotions take control. However, things just get harder when we can't see each other.. The insecure feelings, they're the worst enemy in this case.. I kept reminding myself to trust each other.. And I'm trying my best to do that.. It seems like I'm facing a lot of internal conflict here lol.. *inserts sarcasm*

Managed to teach yongyong some stuff.. He didnt cry or throw tantrums. :)

Glad I'm finally back to blogging, coz at least I can let it out here. :)