14 January, 2010

烦烦烦

很奇怪耶!打球回来满脸竟是沙!脏得不得了!明明只是打羽球,又没在地上打滚,哪来的沙啊?

今天整天都心不在焉的。刚刚不是接不到球,就是打不过网。丢脸透顶了。两次的双打我从头到尾都像小丑。学人打什么羽球啊……在班上也是。明明已经答应自己说要好好专心读书了,却还能在发呆。不知道讲师今天说的东西我有听进去吗……

爸叫我在29日回家。本来还在犹豫着要不要回的我,可以说是立刻答应了。我知道一定是家人是真的要我回家,我不可能拒绝的。但现在,心里满满是愧疚。看来,我不能和全班一起庆祝浩严的生日了。2010年J16的第一个生日,我竟不能和他们在一起。我是真的真的很想留下来的…… 嘉嘉说没关系的,但要我不去想,不去内疚,那是不可能的。我差点在班上哭了,超够力的。

我越来越肯定,那人对我,是带着些许的敌意的。我不明白是什么事情让他误会我了。但若他不愿意和我坦白,我永远都不会知道。若我做错了什么,我愿意道歉。问题就是,我知道他不会告诉我的。现在我只能做的事,就是希望他不会挑拨离间。我真的真的不能再受到这样的打击了。上一次已经让我伤痕累累,这次呢?

打球后回来,心情有点复杂。很久没一个人漫步了。走着回宿舍时,我想的是下午打球的那几个小时。我本来就完全不会打羽球,握拍也是刚刚学而已,还要我和她们来个双打。分心让我更像小丑。有时我会忍不住退缩,宁愿坐在一旁看着她们。我知道这个想法是不对的,所以我一直都在告诉自己,丢脸就丢脸咯,凡事总有第一次嘛。但今天……老天啊。Cherry, Wendy 她们提早离开去吃晚餐,我选择留下来。就当是发泄。怎知越打越烂。最后和绍辉合作的时候,他一直都在说别在意成绩,最重要是过程。问题就是,我真的无法专心。后来不知是不是我的过度悲观影响了他,他也陪我悲观。越想越欠打。唉……离开gym前哲宣纠正了我的握拍方式,也说了一些要注意的基础。他说羽球不难,先练好手腕,再继续学其他的。看着我之前写的 Resolution,我就把这练习加入我的日常练习了。但愿我能遵守当初自己立下的诺言,学好羽球。至少,要打好基础。

淑晶下去排演歌舞剧了。房里又省下我一个人。我好想念上网,好想念朋友,好想念能在部落格自由发泄的时候。Lappy 出了点问题,无法用 word。我现在甚至是在用着 wordpad 写着的呢。无法上网,无法开始做功课。在这样下去,我会崩溃的。这么多的心情垃圾,也有堆积成山的一天啊。我到底要可以撑多久?

星期六我很想跟佳颍倩慧她们出去。但一想到我不会唱歌,有点怕怕咧。有那么多人在。之前都是嘉嘉陪我唱英文歌的啊。没了她陪我,我会怕啦。

还是快去冲凉好了。迟些又得麻烦 Ivan 帮我看看 Lappy。Word 不能用,要怎么做功课啊。但麻烦他那么多次……唉。TT^TT

I'm pretty sure my English is getting worse.. I have no bloody clue why am I blogging in Chinese again...

8 comments:

  1. If u have some misunderstanding with friend , try to talk with him / her , find the roots of the problem , dun keep it in your hearts ... If u dunno how to play badminton , i am very willing to teach u even though i m oso not an expert ... If u r afraid x one will accompany u to sing English songs . i m willing to be a listener as i like to listen to English song ...

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  2. Really? Then got time we go practice together too? I really want to learn how to play... And erm, you wouldnt want to listen to me singing karaoke. You'll want to long biak. Or sing together? XD

    I tried to talk to ABC, but ABC doesnt want to. I'm the only one worrying about this problem. I wonder if ABC even cares...

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  3. hehe~ i know who si the one you have menitioned about, but don't worry! just take it easy!
    cuz i have told myself not to gossip people anymore.... cuz i have did it to somebody.... you know it!
    so i told myself stop act like a child (it means the gossips, people who are not mature always wanna gossip to others)....ignored it! just be what you want!
    ignored the stupid and childish people!
    cheer up!^^

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  4. You've always been a sensitive person, so maybe your guess is right. Really can just ignore kah? I've been troubled by it for quite a while dy... I dont understand what have I done wrong at all pun...

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  5. is okiay, just take it easy...
    maybe sometimes you have said something that made people hurt, so.....
    no need to change yourself because of that people~

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  6. I'll have to think more before I speak next time, if that's the case.. Haih. Thanks~ =3

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  7. Ya, next time v can play together as i oso want to keep fit ~ haha ^^ I dunno much abt English song bt i really enjoy listen to it ~

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  8. Hahahaha, okay okay! Next time we all go together~ And yay one more to join me and chia chia in english songs dy !! XD

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