02 July, 2010

Letting Out

The weekly assembly is cancelled due to the rain. Plus, the hall is too small for every one of us to get in. Got back to the room after buying brunch from the canteen. I'm now sitting in the room with nothing better to do other than sleeping and blogging. Currently at Kekkaishi's epi 40, but I dont really have to mood to carry on with it..

I was so looking forward to going out with him actually. Not really the timetable's problem that's stopping me from going out now. More of other factors I guess.. Transport has always been a problem, especially when you cant find someone to share the taxi with you. But seriously, I dont think that's an issue anymore. I dont know what I'm saying. Ignore me..

Aunt left, but why hasn't all the moody feelings left with her? I still feel tired, I feel like lazing and loafing around whole day, doing nothing in the room. I even lost my appetite. I can actually skip meals now.. It's been days eversince tuesday and I'm still very very tired.. I feel like crying out more than anything else.

Finally, the end of the junior's orientation week. Wonder if the juniors have better discipline when compared to the beginning of the week. I can see many seniors and coursemates from the same batch complaining about how rude and impolite they are.. Come to think of it, I think our seniors complained the same way about us too when it was us. We all went through the same thing I guess. I'm trying to not complain about them too much, except for some really problematic ones. ==

Something happened to a good friend and I feel even more like a failure when I couldn't even offer the least comfort. I've always been bad at talking so all I could to was to listen. And apparently that is not good enough at all.. I don't know what I can do for her to make her feel better..

I wasn't in a very good mood last night. I felt so confused so I asked to talk on the phone for a while. On the phone, my tone was kind frustrated. Frustrated enough for me to kill myself. I should have calmed down before talking or doing anything. Or I should have tucked myself in bed immediately and perhaps I could talk in a better way the next morning.. I didn't think twice, or thrice before making decisions. I might have influenced others around me.. I didn't want to talk that way.. 

I'm heading back to Penang this afternoon after class. I do hope that I'll feel better after this weekend. I don't want this mood to influence my work and studies next week. I can't afford to lose anything more now.. I can't take it anymore.. 

I must not cry. One thing I'm glad of myself, I've not shed a tear eversince the first day of my new semester. Crying isn't going to help or make things better. What for? Sleeping is even more effective seriously..

Class starts at 11.30am. I have more than an hour to sleep myself out of this mood now.. =)

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