Fear groped my heart even harder than before.. Why must it follow me all the time.. As if it has no other places to head to.. Today's just another day overwhelmed with insecurity.. I wandered around the admin block aimlessly.. I held on through lectures nervously today.. Lectures suddenly ended earlier today.. I had the whole evening free and I felt so wtf.. Planned to have badminton so at least I could get things out of my mind but eff it rained.. Dinner was cancelled at the last minute but fortunately I managed to eat out though it's not rice.. I would've broken down anytime.. I can't see clearly what am I supposed to do other than completing my parts for the presentations and also preparing for tutorials and ISL's and whatever that's needed for lectures.. I feel so exhausted.. I don't know what should I look forward to now.. I give myself hope every single day and I face disappointment almost everyday too.. And eff my chest pain is back to torment me.. My aunt, too, obviously no sense of timing too, to come at this time of all.. I feel freaking stressed.. IT EVEN HURTS TO BREATHE CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT. Eventhough I can most probably go out with him on thursday but I just.. I don't know.. I mean like.. There might be just another effing surprise and POOF, here we go again..
I just want a good rest.. Just a day without worries and disappointment.. Please?
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