So I guess feeling terrible last night was kind of like a sign to the unhappiness I felt today..? Never did I dislike being alone here at all.. I'm beginning to feel very unfamiliar with this place, with this place, with this campus, with Ipoh.. I'm beginning to dislike being here.. Eventhough there are some friends who I can talk to are here.. Eventhough he is here.. Eventhough I'm just a worm at home.. Eventhough I almost don't meet up with any friends in penang.. Eventhough I feel lonely when I've got no one to talk to in penang.. But life's always been lonely when I can't feel anything from anyone.. I managed to finish last week's homework yesterday, and I've received today's homework.. At least homework's the worst puppet string now.. And obviously I'm the puppet.. It's my last education phase here, and it's also my future career.. I like the job, so I won't leave.. It's just that it doesn't feel that home-like here anymore.. He said maybe I'm still not used to things yet.. I hope so too.. I do hope things change fast.. I feel so insecure everyday now.. It's like everyday's full of uncertainties.. Why is everyone adapting to things so easily and I seem to be the only one being the whining brat here.. I need my effing routine back in my life.. I lost the routine.. I used to enjoy campus life and why can't I now.. I want that happiness back.. I want to enjoy life as how I did.. I feel so trapped now.. I look forward to going out every week.. It used to be that way too, once a week, for last year.. And I was okay with it.. So that shouldn't be the problem.. It's just this stupid feeling that's been troubling me eversince I got here last week.. I hate it here now.. I want to go home.. I feel so lost..
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