That "Nightmare Come True"

I could hardly breathe.. I tried to hold back everything, to put the curve back on my face.. I kept getting the cold shoulder. I don't have anyone to turn to, but to face it. Tauruses are poor at cold war. I can keep on waiting, but only if there is something for me to wait.. I kept waiting, waiting and waiting.. But may I know.. What is at the end of the road.. I'm terrified of the night, I'm afraid of sleeping.. I always make sure I can settle down, to really sleep when I close my eyes.. I've failed to do so for a few nights.. What can I do.. I don't know.. I can't even say I wanna go home.. Going home is just the same, I'll just face another kind of problem.. Why does it seem like I have nowhere to go.. Why can't things be solved through discussion.. We all have problems.. We cannot compare our situations.. Going home makes me feel like I'm stuck in between.. And with everything like that I totally can't do my assignments.. Staying here is just slightly better.. I can always deceive myself, that there's always a rainbow after the hurricane.. That dream.. That nightmare that night.. It came true.. Everything's happening.. I'm suffocating.. I don't know why the hell am I doing this to myself..